Emotions

So this is one of the nights where im suppose to be too tired to feel anything but im feeling crappy cos there are so many thoughts in my head right now. sad thoughts. i dont get why people hold grudges for such a long time, like isnt it tiring? people make mistakes. im more to the side where i make those mistakes which are quite unforgivable i guess *shrug* and then i end up losing friends sigh :( it feels terrible, trust me. i've tried to fix things that i have screwed up but it didnt work. so me being me, i give up after awhile. cos i thought time would actually amend things that i cant, but i guess i was wrong :( im feeling so moody now ahhh. tbh i dont really have any close friends, and that makes me sad. but im glad i got queenie though, whom i can always rant to & feel alot better after that. and not forgetting brendan who has always been there for me, especially at the worst period of my life so far. sometimes i really do feel the whole world is going against me. and friends who are considered quite close dislikes me. that feeling sucks but i cant help it. im super insensitive, sigh. all the time i wish i was more sensitive but cos im born being like me. so im trying, before i lose any more friends or being disliked by people who are gonna be in some part of places im gonna be in the near future like in poly or when im working etc. okay byebye.